Making interactions with complete strangers can be overwhelming. As an entrepreneur who has cold-pitched dozens of investors and an government with Wharton Alumnae Founders & Funders Association (WAFFA)—I’ve equally perpetrated and found my share of networking misses.

The central challenge of networking is navigating the skinny line amongst connection-making and searching for expert get. How do you strike the correct stability amongst these two seemingly opposing techniques? Commence by keeping away from these pitfalls that even knowledgeable networkers make once again and again.

1.   Hiding their motives

Even a trace of disingenuousness can eliminate a new marriage. That is why it’s superior to be upfront about your motives for achieving out to a new get hold of, rather than positioning by yourself as “just hoping to get to know them.”

Gurus are conscious that you haven’t messaged them because you want a new pal. Far more most likely, you want to find out about an initiative they are functioning on, protected an introduction, cultivate a goal buyer, or link with a probable employer. You never need to have to hide why you want to communicate with someone. It’s disguising your agenda that arrives across as dodgy.

“I’m approached dozens of moments for every week for intros. The crucial to finding a yes is spelling out how specifically I can be beneficial,” Shannon Grant, an investor, and the copresident at WAFFA, informed me pursuing an celebration with a well-known speaker final month. “If I can assist a founder safe funding for a organization that designs the landscape, that is meaningful to me. I don’t will need to be in her marriage ceremony.”

2.   Asking for also much

Staying upfront with your check with is crucial, but inquiring for way too considerably can be lethal. Requesting a specific intro from somebody you do not know properly can transform awkward if they really do not basically have a marriage with that make contact with or don’t imagine it is a superior use of their contact’s time.

To avoid putting someone on the spot, ask open up-ended questions that depart room for the other get together to gracefully drop. “Do you know any person I should talk with as I attempt to understand about careers at Google?” beats “Can you hook up me to your ex-colleague Mrs. Smith at Google? I want to ask her for a occupation.”

“I been given this take note from a get in touch with asking for an intro to a specific investor, but I didn’t know that investor individually,” recalled Alice Zhang. The founder of the micro-entrepreneurship community IncubateMe and a WAFFA board member explained, “I could have been much a lot more practical if the sender had presented context and questioned whether I knew everyone who may well be a match for what she was accomplishing.”

3.   Bringing also little exertion to the table

The notion that anyone is coming on way too strong isn’t frequently established by their forthrightness about their motives. Alternatively, the difficulty is ordinarily what they are bringing to the interaction.

Dian Oved, CEO of Empower Digital, a electronic marketing and PR company, spelled out a common pitfall. “A new founder will ask me for a movie star intro for a collaboration,” Oved stated, “but they haven’t yet developed a web-site, well prepared materials, or thought about what they’ll do if the intro is designed.”

What persons overlook is that in just about every introduction, the connector is trading on their own reputation. To go to bat for you, another person will will need to see that you’ve completed your research and are geared up to provide a meaningful interaction.

4.   Lacking the Goldilocks place of specificity

Thriving networkers hit the Goldilocks point of specificity. “Hey, I’m seeking to unload my stock. Any feelings?” is as well obscure an question. It puts the load on your new get hold of to believe via your problems for you. Rather, try: “Do you know any retail purchasers on the lookout to purchase wholesale stock?”

But usually depart the “how” of your ask up to your call. “Yeah, that intro you’re making? I’ll need to have him to be obtainable for a Zoom up coming Friday” is not a excellent search. Go particular on your ask for, but wide on the execution –don’t test to manage it.”

Marina Tarasova, cofounder and COO of the health care startup Paloma Wellbeing, made available an illustration from her using the services of experience: “One applicant said he was looking for a job in either Functions, Solution Management, Marketing, or Sales,” Tarasova described. “I was still left without the need of a feeling of exactly where particularly his skill established lies. He would have been a lot more successful naming distinct capabilities he could tackle in each area–like fiscal forecasting or negotiating with brand name associates.”

5.   Failing the likability take a look at

You do not will need Steve Jobs-amount charisma to be a effective networker but you do have to have to obvious the simple likability bar. Approaches that truly feel uninteresting, entitled, or lacking in material will immediately flip off new connections.

Persons want to be influenced, intrigued, or excited by what you are doing—or at the very least by what you have to say about what they are doing. It is difficult to form a connection if you have not formed a level of look at on a thing that matters to the other individual.

Entitlement is yet another offer-killer. Individuals who really feel they are owed favors are tiresome and are likely to be the biggest deal-breaker for me when I’m approached for intros.

At last, creating claims that do not keep h2o, or exaggerating your own importance backfires. “I sold 109 handmade bracelets in 1 day” beats “I’m building an initiative that will improve the confront of the transportation financial state by rallying critical stakeholders.” The latter is identified as a term salad—and no volume of dressing can help you save it.

Becoming immediate, distinct, humble, and geared up is the gold conventional in networking. But if you can avoid obscuring your motives, over-engineering your ask, or likely in 50 percent-baked, you’re already ahead of the sport.

Marina Glazman is a strategist, two-time entrepreneur, and the founder and CEO at Suitely.